I Am At the Peak of My Career

Before I got too far ahead of myself with how much work I had done inside the house I used my adult brain. As a man who works on a lot of people’s homes some things really piss me off. One thing is people who don’t pay what they owe. Another thing is people who overspend on flooring and under spend on cheap fixtures, doors, and windows. The most egregious error of all home owners, however, is spending a ton of money on interior remodeling, new siding, and landscaping, while they have a roof on their house that is 20 years old.

Yes, I realize that roofing is expensive, and it doesn’t add a whole lot to the look of a house, but come on people, your roof is the most important part of your house. By the time you realize that your roof is leaking it probably has been letting water in for at least a few weeks. Ignoring water in your house is quite possibly the dumbest thing you can do. Black mold loves warm, moist, dark areas, and guess what your attic is?!

Fast forward five years and your former honor roll student is now laying in your crawlspace licking mushrooms and huffing spores while in their seventh trimester of pregnancy. You would normally notice but you are too busy waving a broom around trying to hit the dials on your tv because you lost the remote and have merged with the couch. Black mold, scary stuff.

No pictures of the tear off, because it was hot, sunny, humid, and there were 2 layers of 3 tab shingles. I was super excited when I did not find a third layer of cedar shakes, because holy crap do cedar shakes suck to tear off. Firstly, they are all filled with small tiny nails that are destined to destroy pants. Next, I have very rarely not ended up with a decent amount of skin missing from either giant stakes that puncture my body or the nails tearing me apart. Finally, when cedar is stuck under layers of shingles, it breaks down and when torn apart throws out an amazing amount of black cedar dust that lodges itself in your sinuses and covers your sweaty body. When done I usually look like one of the trapped Chilean miners because I am covered in soot, not wearing any pants because mine have been destroyed, and speaking in tongues because I am enraged and my brain is cooked from staring directly into the sun questioning why I have made such terrible life decisions.

Picture time!

As you may have noticed in a previous update, my roof is very very steep. It is a 12/12 which means that it rises 12 inches in 12 inches(45 degree angle). Because I have only developed a serious rash and blackening skin from where a radioactive spider bit me and not the ability to walk on any surface I had to use roof jacks to hold my bulbous ass up on the roof.

1/2 of the main portion of the roof on. I ended up buying TAMKO brand shingles because they at the time were $20 a square cheaper than Certainteed, had an awesome consumer reports rating, and we had a bunch left over from a previous job. I myself am a Certainteed laminate shingle man. GAF makes an okay laminate shingle, but they have poor quality control and end up with shingles that looks like a mouthful of hillbilly teeth. I have not been all that impressed by Tamko’s offerings. They cover a smaller area, and feel thinner that Certainteed. Any brand of 3 Tab shingles are garbage, suck to put on, and end up tearing off in high winds. NEVER BUY 3 TAB SHINGLES!

Step flashing and booting around the sewer pipe. Protip: always cover up the crap pipe. It absolutely wreaks.

The shingle shear… God’s gift to roofers. Measure the piece you need, lay down a shingle, and chop away. Oh how I do not miss the days of using hook blades to cut up the edge of a roof. Another great invention people should be using more of : Ice and Water shield. Use it!

Next time : Expanding the demo into the living room.

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