Not Quite Dead Yet

Six months!? It’s been six months since I put a meaningful write up here. Time flies when you’re having fun, I guess.

So, Whats new? What in the hell has he accomplished in six months? Well, like my mom likes to constantly remind me, I am a disappointment. One day though, I had had enough of pulling up to my house and feeling disgusted with how it looked. A man can only take so much visual torture when he pulls up to his house. So, I started tearing the siding off.

And while that was going on I had my friend use his mini excavator to pull stumps out of my yard.

I started playing a game called “How Many Brands of House Wrap Can I Put On This Shack?”

Turns out the answer is 4. 4 different brands of house wrap.

If any of you caught my video updates you might remember I talked a pretty big game about tearing off the back porch. It came off quite easily with a little assistance from our tractor.

All siding removed, time to put some back on.

Looks a million times better, right?

With all of that taken care of it was time to celebrate with my favorite part of Summer, Splash School. You may have noticed the 1993 Ford Explorer I drive. There is a reason for this. One, I can not stand when a person drives a brand new vehicle and their houses look like a piece of shit. Two, I beat the shit out of all of my cars I’ve ever owned. I have never purchased a vehicle that has cost more than $4000 because I like to abuse them and have fun. Case in point :

I love to swim. I especially love cannon balling. There are two types of pool users. Floaters and Bombers. Floaters are the losers who say stupid things like, ” WHY ARE YOU SPLASHING ME I DIDNT COME TO SWIM IN THIS POOL TO GET WET!” I can’t stand floaters. They are fun sponges and deserve every ounce of sweet sweet aquatic justice that I dispense.

Oh, back to the point.

Here is how the house looks as of today, July 16th.

You can see I tore off the front concrete steps. Took me an entire day to jackhammer them apart as they were a foot thick concrete formed over loose chunks of concrete. What a pain in my ass. As you should be able to tell from the trusses, I will be putting a covered porch off of the front of the house.

Here is the view from the back. I blocked in the basement access and will be putting on a wrap around deck in the back once the heat index drops below 95 degrees. How do you southerners work outside? I don’t envy you.

And I didn’t completely neglect my duties on the interior of the house. Here is an older picture of the kitchen.

I know some of you may be thinking, “Why no kitchen window?” The answer for that is simple. Outside of the kitchen is a rental house that always has the police called there. I can’t stand the dirt bags who live there and if I have to see them every time I get a drink of water or a yogurt I will lose what little sanity I have and start using them as target practice. Hence, the tube light and four super bright daylight LED bulbs in the can lights. Tube lights are amazing and bring in a crazy amount of light compared to shitty sky lights, and they flash into your roof easily and don’t leak.

That’s it for now. I’ll post again once I make some more headway!

2 thoughts on “Not Quite Dead Yet

  1. I read this and thought about it for a while and decided to post.

    Your mother sounds like she is an incredibly unhappy, spiteful woman. To say you are a disappointment is incredibly hurtful and sure as hell not true. I have no idea what her dreams were that she failed to attain, but living through you and your accomplishments is clearly not working.

    Please know you are not a disappointment, you have some incredible skills and she is the issue, NOT you.

    Hugs.

    And more pictures of the basement please. I still can’t wrap my head around the reverse-direction stairs.

    Like

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