My House is out of Square and Freezing.


Firstly, pictures

Secondly :

This house is so out of square it is driving me insane. It is over 3 inches out of square in a 23 foot long run. Frustrating, but a good drywaller is capable of hiding nearly anything. I am by no means an expert drywaller, but I can sure as hell try.


My house is old, therefore there is no plywood on the walls, but instead 3/4 boards. You can clearly see the daylight coming in which means as cold as it is outside, it is in my house. Will be insulating the walls later this week, so it won’t be long until I can turn my furnace back on. I am super excited about that. I’m sleeping in my bedroom with a space heater right now. Sleeping is fine and a comfortable temperature, but getting out of the room and using the bathroom is a nightmare. I’m afraid I will end up getting my ass frozen to the toilet seat soon.


As you can see I tore out the carpeting, carpet padding, and removed the door. Hopefully should have a door in in a day or two. I am having some issues on deciding what I want to do with the floor.  I have a few options. I love the look of hardwood, but there are some parts in the floor that need to be replaced. I could try to tie some new flooring in, sand, and re stain the entire floor for not a lot of money. New hardwood flooring is around $3 a square foot, Laminate flooring is also a fast install-able option, but it is starting to look really cheap and trashy to me. I refuse to purchase carpeting for the main portion of the house. I’ll allow it in the bedrooms, but that’s it.

I’ll post more pictures as the progress continues!

House On Hillbilly Hill.

Working construction all day and then working on my own house can sometimes start to get tedious. Luckily I have the mind of a child and am amused by simple things. Here are some pictures I wanted to share but have no real theme.

My Baby! It is a 1972 Ford Fairmont Wagon.

Less than 43000 miles!

Seventies Sexy…. Or as sexy as someone in their seventies.

My hillbilly tub surround/shower head.

I’ve found the best way to make art classier is to put Power Rangers window clings on them.

I didn’t buy a dumpster to NOT play in it on uneven surfaces. I thought this was America.

Football Sunday!

Someone really liked their Red Dog.

I really don’t know what to say to this one… Thank You?

Windows ME

If you’re a nerd you’ll get the joke in my title. If you don’t get it, congratulations, you probably have friends. Regardless, I put some new windows in. 6 foot wide by 4 foot tall. The old widows were 5’5″ by 5’5″. I am not a fan of windows being close to the floor. I like having them above average groin height (which I’ve found to be three foot tall). The reasons for this are simple: 1, if you wake up hung over and have no pants on, you can’t be called in and wind up on the registered sex offenders list and 2, if you are drunk and fall over you won’t be as likely to fall completely through your window. Now I know this place will never have a huge resale value do to it’s limited square footage so I went with cheaper vinyl windows.  Something interesting about windows is that there are only a few companies that make the actual glass. What you are paying for is whatever companies hardware that surrounds the glass. So if you need some new windows, and can only afford the cheap vinyls and not the fiberglass or wood framed ones, don’t worry about it. You’re still  getting a high quality well insulated window, it’s just wrapped in a not gorgeous looking piece of plastic. If you’re not  completely lazy you should be framing out the windows with pine boards anyways, so the finished project shouldn’t look like a crappy apartment. Having said all of that, here is a picture of the new windows.

I later removed the window to the right and currently have it all boxed in. Tonight I was having fun in my crawlspace pulling wiring. I should have all of the wiring and insulation done for the weekend and then it’s drywall time again.

One and Done?


No, I am not deceased, and no, this blog has not been abandoned(yet). It has been a few weeks since I made any major progress with the house because of a variety of reasons. One, I am lazy at times. Two, It being the fall season and me being relatively young, I had a large number of friends returning to college, so I wanted to spend some time out with them before they left to further their education and leave me behind(so lonely). Three, FANTASYYY! With the reemergence of the NFL season my addiction has me scratching my arms until sores show up. I used to play a lot of World of Warcraft when I was in college(keyword being was) and stopped. Fantasy Football is simply a different drug with the same effect. Luckily for me, watching football is a socially acceptable time to get polluted and drunk drive through a Little Caesar’s. Finally, we have been doing a lot of roofs lately and the absolute last thing I want to do when I get home is work on my house when I have been on a roof all day. I am willing to bet that my hands are filled with an abnormally high amount of fiberglass.

So now that I explained why I have been not working on my house, let me explain to you why I have been reinvigorated to finish this thang. IT IS FREEZING INSIDE OF MY HOUSE! Turns out that removing the insulation and ceiling of your house will lead to all of the heat leaving at a quite rapid rate. There is no point in running the furnace because guess what, that heat rises just like every other type of heat ever. I am unashamedly typing this at my parents house because I will not sleep in a house that is 48 degrees at 6am. The first night it was kind of cool because it reminded me of sleeping out at camp. The second night sucked because I had gas and was basically dutch ovening myself because my head was freezing if I left it uncovered. The third and fourth nights were a lot like the second. Tonight, the fifth night, I had to make a stand. And by make a stand I mean leech off of my parents. It’s nice here. There’s food in the fridge, its warm, it has wifi(my place doesn’t because I forgot to pay the bills last month). Why the hell did I move out? Too bad that they’re out camping and will come home tomorrow morning, it’s a pretty sweet setup I have going on here.

My goal for this weekend was simple : Get bitches and smoke trees. Make some progress on the house.

With one bedroom done I decided to take the demo into the rest of the living room.

I extended the wall down the rest of the length of the room to expand the dimensions of the second bedroom, took down the ceiling, cleaned up the ceiling, and then started kicking some ass and knocking down walls.

You can’t really tell it from here, but the entire ceiling of the kitchen has the rafters running the opposite direction of the rest of the house. I was pretty lucky that that ceiling didn’t fall and crush me while I was knocking the wall out. I won’t let faith alone hold the ceiling up though, so I put in a header to carry the weight.

So that’s how I spent my Saturday. What’d you guys do?

My next steps are to put some new windows in, pull wires, insulate, and drywall.

Friends Don’t Let Friends Drink and Drywall

Everytime I work on my house I feel like I’m turning into Don Draper working on Sally Draper’s club house. That is, I generally get decently loaded when I am doing something I find to be monotonous. I love LOVE rough framing. It is so much fun to take nothing and create something. Then, someone comes along and says that it isn’t pretty enough, and has to paint it ugly colors that will go out of style in a fashion season. If I wore white clothes(I don’t because they always end up stained) I would definitely wear them after labor day, just to spite people. If I were a more ballsy person I would have also left the unfinished drywall hang, but being a semi-sane human being who still is trying to get some action, I hung drywall, finished it, textured it, and painted it. So, I now have one bedroom nearly done, with only the flooring and trim left to do. You can mark my words though, there will never be a gaudy decoration in my house that has the words  LIVE LAUGH LOVE on it. I hate this crap. Why do middle aged women insist on hanging these things everywhere?

Picture Time :

Fresh Starts With Volatile Chemicals.

With walls up the next step is to pull wires and insulate this place.

This house has rough cut 2×4 walls so the R21 Fiberglass option is out. R13 Fiberglass could potentially be the way to go, but I want a way to eliminate air movement in my walls. If only there were some kind of magic material which had double the R value of fiberglass, was a moisture barrier, and I have access too.

Closed Cell spray foam insulation! R7 per inch(4xR7=R28). Very expensive to install($1.05 per board foot our cost) but it will pay for itself in 3 years due to no air movement knocking the heat out of my house. The only problem with this stuff is that you have to make sure you have a VOC Mask or even better, supplied air. It is a 2 part foam that loves moisture, and guess where there is a lot of that : your lungs. If you start spraying this stuff naked your lungs will be candy coated.

The spray foam that you see in Holmes on Homes and other DIY shows(spray 1/8 inch and it expands outside the walls)  is an open cell foam which has the same R value as fiberglass and allows moisture to pass through, but is roughly half the cost. I want the highest R possible in my thin walls and I feel that closed cell is always the best option. We’ve done a lot of jobs tearing out improperly installed open cell with huge air voids so I simply don’t trust that product. An interesting fact about icynene brand spray foam : It can not stick to itself. If you spray it, cut it with a hot knife and there is an air void(which there can be a lot of) and you spray some more in, the product will not bond with the previously applied foam.

Next step : Hang drywall, climb up into the attic, spray the top of the drywall to create a 100% airseal.

Demolition Sounds Like Fun But Then You Have to Clean it All Up

Now that the roof was on and the house was water tight it made sense to really start cracking the whip and get some work done. Bedrooms and living rooms are relatively cheap to remodel compared to bathrooms and kitchens so I started with the front bedroom and expanded it out into the front half of the living room. Since I knew there would be a giant mess I bought some 4mil plastic and stapled/taped it to the walls and ceiling in order to create a dust/debris shield. One unique thing about this house is that unlike most houses it has 9′ ceilings instead of the standard 8′. It will suck buying a little bit more expensive taller drywall, but the added height makes it feel a lot bigger(when half of it is not torn apart).

I climbed up into the attic and just like I did in the porn den, knocked down the ceiling with a sledge hammer. This whole process sketched me out since the ceiling stringers were rough cut 2×4’s which bounced and bounced with every swing.

😦 Time to work that shovel.

Blew out the bedroom wall’s lath and plaster and tore down the chimney from the attic down to the floor.

Two important things in these pictures : First, there are nice decently conditioned hardwood floors underneath the carpeting in the living room that I plan on refinishing. Second, my home made boom box. Took a PC power supply, grounded it so that it would turn on with the switch on back of it, have it powering a car amp, which pump really nice sound out of my eclipse 6×9 speakers. Truly, a ghetto blaster.

Removed the closet wall and put some new vinyl windows in.

New wall! The old dimensions of the room were 9’8″ x 9’7″ which makes a small ass bedroom. Now the room measures 11′ x 10’8″. Not a whole lot bigger but a room has no business being smaller than 10 x 10. Now for these pesky ceiling stringers…

See those rafters? See how they are not tied to the stringers by anything? Yeah, scared the hell out of me too. All that was holding my roof to my house were two barn spikes through every single rafter. Even better than that is the fact that neither the stringers OR rafters have any spacing scheme and differ from the living room and bedroom. If old houses like this have managed to stand for near a hundred years it is my belief that current construction homes will be able to stand for thousands of years.

Well, since they aren’t tied to anything I’m going  to tear them out.

And install my own!

Unlike the crazy miners who built this house I am going to tie my stringers into the rafters so that the whole god damn roof doesn’t collapse on me during 60mph winds!

Webbing and cross bracing to actually increase the structural integrity of the rough sawn 2×4 rafters.

New closet wall built with drywall nailers installed. Previous closet was 3′ deep, this one will be 2′ when finished. Next I need to move ductwork, pull wire, and insulate the walls.

Stay tuned!

I Am At the Peak of My Career

Before I got too far ahead of myself with how much work I had done inside the house I used my adult brain. As a man who works on a lot of people’s homes some things really piss me off. One thing is people who don’t pay what they owe. Another thing is people who overspend on flooring and under spend on cheap fixtures, doors, and windows. The most egregious error of all home owners, however, is spending a ton of money on interior remodeling, new siding, and landscaping, while they have a roof on their house that is 20 years old.

Yes, I realize that roofing is expensive, and it doesn’t add a whole lot to the look of a house, but come on people, your roof is the most important part of your house. By the time you realize that your roof is leaking it probably has been letting water in for at least a few weeks. Ignoring water in your house is quite possibly the dumbest thing you can do. Black mold loves warm, moist, dark areas, and guess what your attic is?!

Fast forward five years and your former honor roll student is now laying in your crawlspace licking mushrooms and huffing spores while in their seventh trimester of pregnancy. You would normally notice but you are too busy waving a broom around trying to hit the dials on your tv because you lost the remote and have merged with the couch. Black mold, scary stuff.

No pictures of the tear off, because it was hot, sunny, humid, and there were 2 layers of 3 tab shingles. I was super excited when I did not find a third layer of cedar shakes, because holy crap do cedar shakes suck to tear off. Firstly, they are all filled with small tiny nails that are destined to destroy pants. Next, I have very rarely not ended up with a decent amount of skin missing from either giant stakes that puncture my body or the nails tearing me apart. Finally, when cedar is stuck under layers of shingles, it breaks down and when torn apart throws out an amazing amount of black cedar dust that lodges itself in your sinuses and covers your sweaty body. When done I usually look like one of the trapped Chilean miners because I am covered in soot, not wearing any pants because mine have been destroyed, and speaking in tongues because I am enraged and my brain is cooked from staring directly into the sun questioning why I have made such terrible life decisions.

Picture time!

As you may have noticed in a previous update, my roof is very very steep. It is a 12/12 which means that it rises 12 inches in 12 inches(45 degree angle). Because I have only developed a serious rash and blackening skin from where a radioactive spider bit me and not the ability to walk on any surface I had to use roof jacks to hold my bulbous ass up on the roof.

1/2 of the main portion of the roof on. I ended up buying TAMKO brand shingles because they at the time were $20 a square cheaper than Certainteed, had an awesome consumer reports rating, and we had a bunch left over from a previous job. I myself am a Certainteed laminate shingle man. GAF makes an okay laminate shingle, but they have poor quality control and end up with shingles that looks like a mouthful of hillbilly teeth. I have not been all that impressed by Tamko’s offerings. They cover a smaller area, and feel thinner that Certainteed. Any brand of 3 Tab shingles are garbage, suck to put on, and end up tearing off in high winds. NEVER BUY 3 TAB SHINGLES!

Step flashing and booting around the sewer pipe. Protip: always cover up the crap pipe. It absolutely wreaks.

The shingle shear… God’s gift to roofers. Measure the piece you need, lay down a shingle, and chop away. Oh how I do not miss the days of using hook blades to cut up the edge of a roof. Another great invention people should be using more of : Ice and Water shield. Use it!

Next time : Expanding the demo into the living room.

The 70’s Were A Time When It Was Acceptable To Put Wood Paneling On Cars and In Houses

Before we get to the pictures : a story. My house was built in the very early 1900’s when insulation was either non existent or people loved the thought of working 80 hours a week in the iron mine then coming home to shovel coal into the furnace. There is zero insulation in my walls but there was a decent amount in my attic. The problem : It wasn’t nice bats of fiberglass that could be easily removed, it was a mixture of vermiculite and blown wool. If you don’t know what vermiculite is : I envy you.  The only real way to get this mixture out of my attic was to scoop it out, or just drop the ceiling and shovel it off of the floor. I had a third option available that worked, somewhat. A family friend has a duct cleaning business and what amounts to a 8hp vacuum. This rig has a 8 inch hose that is so powerful that it sucks your entire hand into the end of it even if you are prepared for it.

What I did was climb up into the attic and suck out the vermiculite and wool from half of my house until I heard a lot of yelling coming from outside. Once the blown wool hit the vacuum it atomized and even though we had it dumping into a tarped trailer there was a giant cloud of wool particles that stood taller than my house that began to drift over the neighborhood. Needless to say, the neighbors were not amused with my attempt to save myself some grunt work. I managed to get half of the attic sucked out before I had to go on damage control and apologize to my now understandably pissed neighbors.

Now with the neighbors placated I decided to make some more dust. I decided to begin in the front bedroom since it was completely unused at the time and easy to seal off from the rest of the house. I referred to this room as the porn den for the longest time because of the wood paneling and long red shag carpet.

It was at this point I was starting to get sick of plaster so I decided to grab my ladder and do some work outside. Up on the roof.

And in an incredibly hot attic.

With the new furnace installed I no longer have any need for an unnecessary hole in my roof to flash around and a waste of my very valuable living room space.

You can see in this picture my legs, the sledgehammer, and the ramp I made to funnel the rest of the attic insulation into the dump trailer.

Ceiling mostly dropped down, insulation mostly out, old scary wiring, and a mess on the floor. The cleaning never ends!

Next update : Shingles, no, not the skin condition and expanding the demo into the living room

Floor Plans

So now that I am bringing the blog into what I’ve done on the main floor of the house I figured it was time to do a layout of the place so that people can place the pictures to a portion of the house. 

What I plan on doing is pushing the bedroom walls out 1 foot into the living room, shrinking the closets from 3 to 2 feet deep in order to make the bedroom facing the front of the house an additional 1 foot wider, moving the back doorway to the other side of the house, making the basement stairs come out into the living room, and completely changing the layout of the kitchen. Here is another picture to more easily explain the previous run on sentence.

Sorry for the brevity of this post, but ended up doing a roof late this week and worked on the house all weekend. Will update with more content soon, and a video walkthrough is coming eventually.